My life, just after turning 21..
2007. Thank god it’s over.
I loved. I lost. I lost. I lost. Yeah, I pretty much lost.
In losing, I gained valuable lessons. No matter how much you would like to change something – sometimes you just can’t. Memories won’t bring them back; yet they’ll keep their presence close. You can cry every night until you can’t breathe – but it won’t change anything.
Life is thrown at us. We have no choice but to take it as it is. It truly is a gift and we often do not realise how lucky we indeed are.
Few times I opened up to people, I have been let down. In saying this, I have not given up on people. I have just realised I must be more particular in the people I choose to let in. You can’t let people get you down. Alone time is therapeutic for a sad soul, and people much prefer an empty smile.
I stayed straight for the whole year, and simultaneously realised that people can (and will) fuck you up far more than any drug. We can only blame ourselves.
2007 has shown me who my true friends are. Unfortunate events came with an upside in regards to a lesson of value. It matters not who is there to share your joy, yet those who where there for me at my lowest, most vulnerable states are the ones I will be true to for the remainder of my life.
I don’t want to fight or have ill feelings or pretend to like anyone anymore. I’ve grown and realised that once someone touches your heart, they are part of it forever. Everyone leaves their own mark – even if it is a scar. Scars are better than open wounds.
I’ve realised people come into our lives for a reason. I have to learn to stop being so ‘disappointed’ when they leave, and rather I should in fact be quite satisfied at the things they themselves have taught me, whether it be about people, life, love, or in some cases – myself. I hope in the years to come, I am able to embrace things fully, yet equally as quick to move on with a smile.
I turned 21 and received the key of life! This is an idea I found entertaining, as I feel age does not unlock anything, quite the contrary! Age locks our feelings and minds away. Perhaps the key is used as a symbol to remind us that youth is what keeps us alive and open! We have the need for youth in our lives; we need to see through a Childs eyes. Maybe then the simple things will again, be enough.
My break is nearly over, but I hope 2008 brings with it many shared smiles and memories. No matter how hard we work for our money, the money will not buy us back the time.
2008? Bring it.
(Obviously written in my work break. 30th Dec 07).
